Falling in Love

I am sitting here in the NICU with Keira sound asleep on my lap as I type.  It is amazing to think that if events had happened differently, I would be having the babies by scheduled C-section today at just over 35 weeks gestation.  Looking at these three, I can't even begin to imagine what it would have been like to have them still inside of my belly.  As of last night, Keira weighed 5 lbs, Lincoln was 4 lbs 15 oz, and Violet was  3 lbs 14 oz.  If they had spent the last 5 weeks in the womb, they would be even larger.  Let's take a moment to bow in reverence to the triplet mommies who carry their babies to 35 weeks and beyond.  *Silence*

The last 5 weeks has been an interesting journey for me.  The first couple of weeks after they were born, I was concentrating on my own recovery.  The next couple of weeks, I was selfishly enjoying my freedom.  I could move again and felt like I had 24/7 babysitters at the NICU.  Three babies and no responsibilities.  The day after the one month mark, out of nowhere, I broke down in tears on the way home from the hospital.  Why had I been so carefree for an entire month and now I was so upset?  It occurred to me that up until that point, I hadn't fallen in love just yet.

I must admit that when I first saw the babies in the operating room there was no angel chorus or beam of light that shown from heaven as I fell instantly in love with my new little miracles.  Instead, I was surrounded by chaos and confusion.  More than a full day later when I saw them for the first time covered in tubes and wires and trapped in incubators, it was difficult to feel any kind of real connection to them.  In fact, I don't think the bonding process truly began until I was able to hold them.  Even then, it was slow. I could only hold them at certain times and for certain periods.  It's only been within the last week or so as they've begun eating from bottles and are sturdy enough that I can pick them up whenever I want that I've felt able to truly connect.  I think the tears as I left the hospital that day were the first sign of me falling crazy in love with my children.

As I become increasingly attached to my babies with each passing day, it becomes more and more difficult for me to leave them at the hospital.  It looks like it will be another 2-3 weeks before I will be able to bring them home.  They have a few milestones that they must hit first.  They have to be eating all of their food from a bottle.  Currently, they eat a little more than half and get the other half by gastric tube.  Sometimes they eat a whole bottle, sometimes part of a bottle and other times they sleep through feedings.  They are getting gradually better at it.  Keira is our best eater followed by Lincoln, then Violet.  Violet is still pretty small, so she has a tendency to wear herself out and fall asleep while eating.  Also, they have to go five consecutive days without any monitor activity (no heart rate slowing or pauses in breathing).  Right now, Violet has the least monitor activity followed by Lincoln, then Keira. Keira has reflux, so she has a tendency to hold her breath when she gets uncomfortable and that leads to lowered oxygen saturation and a blip on the monitor.  Her reflux is getting better day by day as she gets stronger and the doctors think it will be gone or very mild by the time she comes home.  It should be interesting to see who comes home first.

Ryan holding Keira and me holding Lincoln.

Ryan holding Violet and reading her Star Wars.

This is how I spend my days.  

No matter how far apart I put them, they end up on top of each other.
(Lincoln and Keira.) 

Ryan feeding Lincoln for the first time.

Violet is moved to an open crib.

Lincoln in his outfit from Uncle James and Aunt Abbey.

Ryan holding all three babies for the first time.

Our first ever family photo.

Baby close up.  Keira, Violet, and Lincoln.

Sisters!

Babies are the best sleep aid.

Holding all three for the first time.

The Manning Family

26 Days and Counting

A lot has changed for the Manning triplets in the past 16 days.  It's funny how each day when I go into the NICU to visit my children it seems like they've made very little progress, but when I look back on the post from 16 days ago I can't believe the difference.  I imagine that's kind of how I'll feel about them for the rest of my life.

At the beginning, things changed rapidly and dramatically as the babes adjusted to the world outside the womb.  After the first few days, things stabilized and progress was considerably more subtle.  For a while it seemed like the only thing that changed was that they grew a half an ounce here and there.  Everything else stayed the same.  They are still being fed through feeding tubes and have nasal cannulas set on very low settings to help them breathe.  If we didn't live at such a high altitude, they would most likely have graduated from the nasal cannulas by now.

The biggest changes started happening three days ago.  That little bit of growing the little ones have been doing each day has helped them to be able to maintain a steady temperature.  On Sunday when we walked into Keira's room her isolette was gone and she was sleeping soundly in an open crib.  We could just walk right up and kiss her.  It was amazing.  On Monday, Lincoln was moved to his own open crib. Then, much to my delight, they moved both cribs into the same room!  I stood between the cribs and felt the tears well up in my eyes as I placed a hand on each one.  It was the first time I had been able to touch two at once since they were delivered and it felt magical.  Yesterday, I held them at the same time and reintroduced them to one another.  There are few times in my life when I've felt so overwhelmingly happy.  Now I'm anxious to add the missing piece.  Their sister Violet.

Currently, Violet weighs 3 lb 3 oz.  Before she's able to move to an open crib, she has to weigh 3 lb 5 oz then gain weight on 5 consecutive days.  I'm guessing it will be another 7-10 days before she escapes the isolette.  Right now, Lincoln weighs 3 lb 14 oz and Keira is 3 lb 15 oz.  They are getting dangerously close to that 4 lb mark which will make them big enough for car seats.  However, before they can come home they have to learn to eat from a bottle and lose the gastric tubes.  They also have to go five consecutive days without having a lowered heart rate (bradycardia) or a pause in breathing (apnea).  They haven't started feeding by bottle just yet.  The hospital is waiting until they reach what would have been 34 weeks gestation before bottle feeding.  That happens this Sunday.  Of course, I am trying to push them to start it a little bit sooner because they are all taking a pacifier very well.  We'll see.

It looks like they will be home before we know it.  I'm thinking mid-August but am hopeful that it will be earlier.  In the meantime, we are just thankful that they are doing so incredibly well.  We've been blessed.

Vioet in violet.

Keira being held by Ryan.

Violet being held by Ryan.

Keira being held by Ryan.  We ordered recliners because of this chair.

Keira being held by me.

Violet being held by Ryan.

Kangaroo care with Keira.

Getting Violet ready for a bath.

Violet is actually yawning, but I think it's funny how aggressive she looks.

Lincoln is not sure about moving to an open crib.

Keira's first day in an open crib.

Keira sleeping soundly in her new crib.

Love Keira's sweet face.

Ryan putting Violet back in her isolette.

Violet's room.

Lincoln's going to be handsome like daddy!

A father-son moment.

Lincoln's first day in an open crib.

Lincoln and Keira's room!

Holding two at once.  Lincoln on the left and Keira on the right.

10 Day Update

So much has happened over the past week and a half I can hardly keep up.  The kids are growing and changing so quickly.  I thought I would give a quick summary of the past 10 days for each of the little ones and then a little update on how the parents have been doing.

Keira Selene:
The first day of her life, Keira was placed on a ventilator to assist her with breathing.  She was also given a gastric tube that went from her mouth to her stomach which she was to be fed through.  An IV line was run through her belly button to provide additional nutrients until her stomach was large enough that she could get the proper amount of nutrition from breast milk.  Finally, she was hooked up to monitors to keep track of her breathing and heart rate.  Keira quickly graduated from the ventilator in the first 24 hours and was placed on a CPAP machine which puts a little pressure behind the air she is breathing to help keep the lungs open.  The machine looks a lot more serious than it is with a huge mask and tubes coming off of it.  My dad referred to them as their "snorkels."  By the fourth day, Keira's bilirubin levels had elevated which indicates jaundice (very common for preemies).  She was put underneath a light for phototherapy which lasted until day five.  For the next few days, there were very few changes, but she progressed on her breathing and the CPAP machine was turned down each day until the pressure it was providing was very low.  Also during this time, they increased her feedings of breast milk by 1 mL at each feeding to help stretch out her tummy so she could eventually get off the IV line in her belly button.  On day eight, I held her for the very first time.  Day nine was a huge day for Keira.  She had her CPAP machine removed and a nasal canula (little hoses that go into the nostrils) was placed to give her much lighter air pressure, her IV was removed because she was receiving enough nutrients from milk, and the feeding tube was moved from her mouth to her nose so her mouth is now free to begin practicing for a bottle.  Also, we can see her darling little face.

Lincoln Nolan:
Lincoln, like his sisters, was immediately placed on a ventilator after birth.  He was given a gastric tube and an IV line as well as monitors for breathing and heart rate.  The ventilator was removed quickly and replaced with a CPAP machine just like it was for his sisters.  Unfortunately, he did not experience the same success with the CPAP.  By the end of day two, the CPAP was removed and the ventilator was replaced.  This was not a totally unexpected outcome.  It is well known that caucasian males struggle with respiratory issues more than any other demographic when they are born prematurely.  On day three, our boy had elevated bilirubin levels that required phototherapy.  Lincoln stayed on the ventilator until day four when he was strong enough to step down to a CPAP machine.  The next day, phototherapy was discontinued.  For the next few days, the doctors and nurses concentrated on gradually stepping down Lincoln's breathing assistance and increasing his feeds.  On day eight, he had his IV removed because he was getting enough nutrients from breast milk that he no longer needed supplementation through IV.  Day nine, he was held by his dad for the first time.  Today, he will finally have his CPAP removed and a nasal canula placed so we can see his sweet face.  They will also move the gastric tube from his mouth to his nose so he can practice for the next step in feeding.

Violet Layne:
Violet's road was very similar to her sister's, but our littlest girl has always been just a little bit ahead.  After birth, she was placed on a ventilator, had an IV and gastric tubed placed, and was hooked up to monitors for breathing and heart rate.  She was taken off the ventilator first and did very well on the CPAP.  On day three, her bilirubin levels were high, so she was treated for jaundice with phototherapy.    The light was removed on day five.  On day eight, her father held her for the first time.  The next day, she was taken off the CPAP and switched to a nasal canula, her IV line was removed, and her gastric tube was moved from her mouth to her nose.  Day nine, she reached her maximum on feedings (a milestone that should be reached by her sister today and her brother tomorrow), and I was able to hold her for the first time.

So far my recovery has been slow, but good.  The first few days after the c-section were tough.  I spent four days in the hospital before I was able to come home.  If my parents weren't here to help out, I'm certain that my hospital stay would have been extended a few days.  Today, I am in the least pain that I have felt in months.  I still have pain around the incision and when I move too quickly, but that's nothing I can't handle.  I still have a little swelling and the pulmonary edema is still causing some coughing and shortness of breath, but it's improving every day.  The day before I went in for surgery, they weighed me at the hospital.  At that point, I had gained 77 lbs.  I'm sure that number would be higher is they had weighed me just before I went in for surgery, but I'm kind of glad they didn't.  Of that 77 lbs, I have already dropped 62 putting me 15 lbs above prepregnancy weight with some swelling that still needs to go down.  My joints are so relieved.  They could give me medication to make the swelling go down, but that would stop my milk production.  So far, I've been able to keep up with feeding all three of my children, so I would prefer to let the swelling go down on its own.  I think Ryan is beginning to feel the pressure lift a little as I recover.  He was working so hard with full days at the office on top of taking care of his helpless wife.  It's so good to have him back.

I want to take a moment to say thank you to everyone who offered kind words, prayers, cards, and flowers to brighten up the hospital stay.  It means so much to us to have such loving and supportive friends and family.  The Manning triplets have truly been born into a fortunate life filled with lots of love and happiness.

Ryan holding Violet's hand.

Lincoln graduating from the ventilator to the CPAP.

Ryan changing his first diaper ever with Keira.

Ryan changing Violet's diaper for the first time.

Violet in the "tanning bed" (aka phototherapy)

Ryan holding Violet for the first time.

Me holding Keira for the first time.

Keira getting ready for her first outfit.

Keira posing in her first outfit.

Lincoln before a diaper change.  He's so long!  Could be tall like his Uncle Rob.

Violet sleeping soundly all swaddled up.

Holding Keira while her linens are being changed.

Putting Lincoln in his first outfit.

Ryan holding Lincoln for the first time.