Shots Again...Bleh

Yesterday was the kickoff appointment for the next frozen embryo transfer.  They did blood work, took a urine sample, and completed another ultrasound.  All of the blood work came out perfectly, the urine sample indicated that I was not currently pregnant (surprise!), and the ultrasound showed that my uterine lining was ideal and I am completely healed from the Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS) that I had back in August.

When I went in for the last frozen embryo transfer, the OHSS symptoms were mostly resolved, but not completely.  I still had some small cysts in my ovaries.  Actually, they weren't "technically" cysts because they were still small, but they were still not normal.  I do wonder if my body was not ready for the transfer last time around.  If that was the case, then this time, we should have a much better chance for success.  

Tonight I began the estrogen shots.  The good news is that I only have to do these shots once a week.  The other good news is that the dosage is really small so it doesn't hurt as much.  The bad news is, it's a gigantic needle in the bum and it still isn't fun.  I also started taking Doxycycline today to prepare for the procedure.  I've been taking Folic Acid, Fish Oil, and a Prenatal Vitamin for a while, so I'm continuing with those.

It's nice to have support from Isis.  She makes it a little easier.

As far as acupuncture goes, I still haven't gotten back in the saddle.  I have been meaning to, but I dread it so much.  I will probably only get in a couple of treatments before my procedure.  I know it's supposed to help somehow, but I wonder how helpful it can be when I get anxiety even thinking about it.  I will call and set up some appointments tomorrow.  Promise.

Oh yeah, we have an official date for our next transfer!  Wednesday, December 12th.  Mark your calendars and say a little prayer if you find a minute.  We need all the help we can get.

Round Three...and We're Off!

More needles this time around.  Sad.

Today is the official beginning of IVF cycle number three.  Since they are timing this round with my natural menstrual cycle, the start of my period wasn't just the start of my period.  It marked the next round of medical intervention as well as the confirmation that we still can't make it happen naturally.  

On Wednesday, I go into the doctor's office for baseline blood work and to receive the calendar with the official date for the embryo transfer.  It will likely be the week of December 10th.  We have four embryos left and they are all of lesser quality than the two that we used during the last transfer.  That makes me nervous.  Hopefully, a more positive state of mind and overall better health will outweigh this sad fact.  

Honestly, I'm a little disappointed that our break from the Reproductive Endocrinologist has come to an end.  I was enjoying the freedom from thinking about all of this stuff.  After spending three months thinking of nothing but having a baby, the two months off was incredibly refreshing.  The good news is, we only have a month to go before we know whether or not this is going to be our road to baby.  Here's praying.   

Balance

This last month, I have worked really hard at healing after our first IVF failure.  I've spent many hours engrossed in deep journaling; putting my thoughts on paper has always helped me to sort things out.  I've spent time appreciating my husband and working to make our already strong bond stronger.  I've put a heavy focus on bringing fitness back into my life and have been reaping the rewards.  And I have found solace in prayer that I have not experienced in a very long time.  Finally, I feel content with everything that has happened and everything that is yet to come.  

Yesterday, I spent the morning shopping for gifts for babies that have recently come into our lives or who are about to enter this world.  In the afternoon, I attended a lovely baby shower for a former co-worker and realized that I felt absolutely no jealousy, only joy.  I cannot say that I would have felt this way at any other time over the past year.  Emotionally, I am in a place that I have wanted to be in for a very long time.  

Perhaps, the reason that God put me through everything that I have experienced thus far is so that I could get to this place.  I no longer spend my time obsessing oveer the one part of my life that is missing.  Instead, I am enjoying all of the blessings that I already have.  I am excited about our December embryo transfer.  I am certainly hopeful, but I have learned that making it the singular focus of my life is not only completely draining, it is also emotional sabotage.  I need more balance.  

I would say, if I am going to do one major thing different this time around, it would be that I am not going to obsess over the transfer as if it is the only thing going on in my life.  Last time, I read books, participated in forums, shopped for my future baby, and, in general, let every other aspect of my life slide.  This time, I will continue to pray, but also keep in mind the importance of maintaining my physical and emotional health as well as my relationships.  In my opinion, it is extremely important for a mother and father to be balanced in order to raise a balanced child.  Balance is my goal this cycle.    

Ryan's pumpkin carving project.  Niko and Isis helped.

Pumpkin carving success!!

Napping after all of the hard work we did watching Ryan carve a pumpkin.