I've never enjoyed confrontation. Don't get me wrong, I'll stand up for myself every single time I feel wronged. But I'm pretty laid back in general. I'm not easily excitable and usually can see the other person's point of view. Part of me is angry and irrational with boiling blood. This part of me wants to go in, saddles blazing, and tell them exactly how angry and hurt I am by the whole situation. As good as that would make me feel, it would only serve as a way for me to blow off steam. It would accomplish nothing.
Almost certainly, I am going to go with the logical, rational section of my brain when having a discussion with Dr. Magarelli. As a health professional, I realize that mistakes happen, however, I want to know that checks and balances are being put into place so that this doesn't happen to other patients. Infertility is a very emotionally charged struggle. You oscillate between feeling helpless that you can't control your own situation and confused about all of the women who have children they never wanted or don't treat well. It's heartbreaking.
Thank goodness I was able to have a friend in town to make the past couple of days speed by. Having someone to distract you from your fears and to bounce them off when you feel the need was so refreshing. It made me realize how much more difficult this process is because I'm separated from my friends and family. Multiple long phone conversations have helped to get me from point A to point B, but it's not the same as having a genuine hug to accompany the loving words. Danielle, your timing was perfect.
I will update again this afternoon with my new schedule and all of the information Dr. Magarelli gives us at our meeting.
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