10 Days Until Transfer!

As I sit here, I am sipping on what will hopefully be one of my last pumpkin ales until next fall.  While I am sad about the sacrifice of the delicious pumpkin beverage, I think the trade off will most certainly be worth it.  While I'm thinking about it, could someone ship me some spiced apple wine from Huber's?  That is something I will most certainly miss this holiday season.

If you can't tell, I'm feeling very confident at the moment.  I had a very good check up at the doctor today.  They did blood work and an ultrasound.  Right now my estrogen level is 230 (and increasing, poor Ryan), and my uterine lining is about 7.9 mm.  They will want it to be between 12 and 16 mm by the transfer next Thursday so the embryos can snuggle in, but I am well on my way.

Today I am 10 days away from my transfer and I am starting to get excited again.  Finally.  I was beginning to wonder if I would this time around.  I think my biggest problem now is getting it off my mind.  Right now, I am not able to see patients at work due to some hoop jumping, red tape, and incompetent people in the credentials office at the Air Force Academy.  That means that I spend all day at work just sitting there reading or surfing the internet.  (I apologize to all of you whose tax dollars are supporting such nonsense).  I am so bored that I can't help but to obsess about the process.

On Sunday, I spend three hours volunteering at the Humane Society, and it was the best three hours that I've had in a very long time.  I was so busy, that I didn't think about IVF even one time.  It was like freedom.  I can only hope that I am able to see patients at work soon so I can stay busy and not think about everything so much.

On Friday, I went in for my first pre-transfer acupuncture appointment.  I have to admit that it was much more relaxing than the pre-retrieval appointments.  I actually fell asleep for almost the entire treatment.  While I was sleeping, I had a dream that made me wake up with happy tears in my eyes just before the treatment ended.  It was a brief dream, but I dreamed that I was riding the Dumbo ride at Disneyland, and I looked back and saw Ryan in a yellow Dumbo behind me laughing with a little brown-haired boy.  I looked to my left and noticed that I was sitting next to a little brown-eyed, brown-haired girl dressed like princess Belle and she was smiling.  I woke up feeling like I had seen a glimpse of a possible future for Ryan and I with children.  It made me so happy.

I don't believe that I saw the actual future, but it was an idea of a family and it made me feel whole.  I hope that this process leads to a family for Ryan and me.  We want this more than anything.  I want this to be our time.

One of my all-time favorite pics of Ryan with two of our nieces and one of our nephews.