Nothing Definitive

I was thinking that I would go in today and they would be like, "There are definitely X babies in there."  It wasn't quite so cut and dry.  We went into the ultrasound room, I disrobed, and then they began the ultrasound.  The nurse technician was able to find where all three embryos had implanted.  That is the reason that my beta number was so high.  Don't get excited yet, that doesn't necessarily mean triplets.

Basically, one of the embryos looks ideal, one is average, and one is several days behind in development.  With her 15 years of experience, the nurse thought it was unlikely that the third embryo would make it much further.  The fact of the matter is that you can't really consider it a success until you see a heartbeat.  That happens at about 7 weeks gestation. Today I am 4 weeks and 5 days, so 2 weeks and 2 days to go.

I have another ultrasound scheduled for next Thursday.  That will give us a better idea of whether or not that third embryo is simply behind the other two in development, or if it has stopped growing entirely. The good news is that none of them have shown signs of splitting, so we are looking at a maximum of three.

So, I guess we're not picking out nursery furniture yet.  All we know right now is that we are having equal to or less than three babies.  It's funny how when you're sitting there, looking at the ultrasound, you become emotionally invested in the babies that are inside of you.  Ryan and I have talked at length about the fact that we would be most happy with twins.  But, as I sat there, looking at the struggling embryo, I wanted so badly for it to thrive.  Here I am, scared to death we're going to lose this poor embryo, and having triplets is not even something that we wanted.  It's still not something we want, but I can't help pulling for the underdog.

Here I am, only 4 weeks and 5 days pregnant--at this point a lot of women don't even realize they are expecting--and I am getting emotionally attached to these black dots on a screen.  I know it's not just the dots, it's what they represent.  A chance for a family.  A chance for a legacy with children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  It's a really big deal.  So, what we need now is some rest and some focused prayer.  May we be blessed with the exact number of children we were meant to have.

These are our strongest two.  The third is underneath them and we couldn't get a good picture.