3 Days Left

Geez, oh Pete!  This transfer has really snuck up on me.  Only three days left until it happens and I've been so wrapped up in Christmas that I haven't even had much time to think about it.  It's hard to believe, after being so obsessed last time, that I would even be capable of being this nonchalant about the whole thing.

Since my last post, I've had two doctor's appointments with blood work and ultrasounds.  They both went swimmingly.  I would have blogged about it, but I didn't think "everything is normal" was really worth writing home about.  My estrogen levels have been sufficiently high this time around (that was the big scare last frozen embryo transfer), my uterine lining is trilaminar (it has three distinct layers) and it is nice and thick (a good bed for embryos to snuggle into).

Also, as promised, I made acupuncture appointments for the day before and the day of the transfer.  It's kind of the bear minimum, but I dislike acupuncture so much that I thought it was probably the appropriate regimen for me.  At least I'm getting back in there.

So far, everything has been very easy and it's all going according to plan.  The biggest concern at this point is how well our embryos will thaw, and that's completely out of our control.  I think that having survived a failed cycle, I am much better at managing my expectations.  I have seen failure, so I'm not as naive.  I think the way to describe how I'm feeling is cautiously optimistic.

At this point, if it doesn't work for us, I am ready to call it quits.  However, I don't think Ryan is quite there yet.  He wants to keep going until we have used all of our embryos, at least.  I'm beginning to think that this whole thing is effecting him more than it is me.  My husband is a very competitive, hard-working person and he has never met a challenge he couldn't surmount with a little bit of perseverance.  He seems so certain that this cycle is going to be a success, that I worry about how broken his heart will be if it is not.  I think that seeing him hurting will be the hardest part of a failure at this point.  I pray that we don't have to go through that.